This is insane.
I’ve only made two posts, but I’ve been getting over 600 hits per day- and a radio show wants to interview me! I wasn’t expecting this at all.
I’ve been getting a lot of questions, and, weirdly, suggestions, so it looks like I’m going to have to start having a clear vision about what I’m doing. So here’s The Official TMPP FAQ (thus far)-
Q: Are you going to be trading up, a la One Red Paperclip?
A: I wasn’t, but after pondering this question for the entirety of my morning commute, I decided that I actually was. Why not? I need a hobby and this could be fun. However, since trade one is a huge stack of porn, I decided to make the entirety of the blog about vice. So if, for instance, you want to trade me cheese, it has to somehow be sinful cheese. The end goal of these trades will be a bar. I want a fully-stocked, licensed bar. This blog will become the satanic analog to One Red Paperclip.
Q: Really? You think you’re gonna get a bar?
A: I doubt it. However, it can’t hurt to try, right?
Q: Is this porn used?
A: Nope. Most of it is still in the original wrap. About 20 of them are unwrapped, but it doesn’t seem used. And my old roommate tended to throw the films away after he reviewed them.
Q: What’d your old roommate do to get all that porn?
A: He wrote for a well-known online porn review site. He got ginormous packages every other day from all over the place. He probably still does.
Q: Are you pissed at him? Is that why you’re getting rid of his stuff?
A: No. He was aiight. And he seriously couldn’t care less.
Q: Would you be interested in something perishable in exchange for all of that porn?
A: Not really. The postal service is a bit iffy about getting (for instance) cheese delivered in time to have it not be completely disgusting.
Q: Would you accept oral sex?
A: No. Well, yes- but not in exchange for the porn, and probably not from you. Especially not now, because trading up would be even grosser than accepting your creepy, unhygienic offer.
Q: Who are you/do you want to trade pictures/personal info/etc.
A: Sorry. As I’ve said before, I’m uncomfortable being “The Porn Guy,” at least in real life. I’m open to pseudonym suggestions. Something French, maybe?
Q: How will the trades go down?
A: If you’re reasonably close, then it’ll go down in person. Keep in mind that I have a 9-to-5, and I’m not about to trek off to Alabama for a selection of cheeses. That said, I’m willing to use a neutral third party for mailing arrangements.
If you have any other questions, feel free to email me! And keep making offers! I’ll post more of them soon! And to the guy that said I could have his girlfriend, I damand a picture first- but probaly not unless I can trade her up and she’s cool like that.
Now this seemed to start out in good clean fun. Now it is just getting plain nasty and not worth the time to keep up with. Too bad for Kipling Sask.
I think you have me confused with The Original O.R.P., Hon. This one started out covered in a light dusting of evil, and it’s just going to go downhill.
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